You always hear stories of men and women shocked when their partner asks for a divorce, but chances are they probably weren’t paying attention to the problems in their marriage.
According to marriage counselor Raffi Bilek,there are definite signs that a marriage may be headed for divorce, so if someone may be worried about their relationship they may want to pay attention.
- They speak to each other with contempt– Fighting is one thing, all couples fight, but showing disrespect is wrong since, according to Bilek “respect is essential in a marriage.”
- They feel defensive around one another- If a spouse is constantly on guard for an attack that’s just a bad situation.
- They always criticize each other– As Bilek notes, “If you are criticizing each other more than you’re complimenting each other, you’re headed for trouble.”
- One – or both – is not interested in sex anymore– While couples tend to have less sex over time, it’s still an important part of a healthy relationship.
- They think of other potential relationships– While it’s okay to find other people attractive, when you start imagining a relationship with someone else that’s a sign of trouble.
- One person has an addiction and isn’t seeking treatment– Addictions can kill a relationship, and are responsible for nearly half of divorces.
- Onepartner refuses to talk– Bilek notes, “If you try to engage your spouse on the issues that are bothering you, and all you get is silence, shutting down, or checking out, your relationship is not in a good place.”
- They’re choosing online relationships over spouse– Even if they aren’t actually cheating, an emotional relationship can be just as dangerous as a physical one.
- One partner prefers online porn to their spouse–Casual porn watching is perfectly fine, but when it’s preferred to relations with their spouse it can compromise a marriage.
- One partner refuses to attend counseling– While marriage counseling and therapy could save a marriage, it will only help if both partners go, and when one won’t it shows they aren’t committed to saving their relationship.